(originally posted on May 31, 2010)
I guess it makes me sad seeing them going through different paths in life, since at one point they all were together at the same time. And they are still so young.
But it happens, doesn’t it. Friends leave as well.
I’ve been a C-ute fan since 2007, and I wouldn’t change that time for being a fan of any other artist/idol. Never.
What is C-ute? Who are they? Because members have left, some people are not too sure what is C-ute anymore. I myself wonder about this sometimes.
Since idols connect themselves with fans, they are something in fans’ hearts, they earn a place there. When you become devoted to a group or an artist, they become your #1.
All of them, Erika, Maimi, Megu, Kanna, Nakky, Airi, Chisa and Maimai are #1 in my heart. I can’t say Erika, Megu and Kanna are members of C-ute anymore, because they aren’t, that’s why I get confused, because I’m too attached to the group I guess. I need to accept it though, that C-ute is now five girls, and the other three are never coming back to the group.
That has good and bad sides. The good is that I still adore the current (NOT “remaining”) five girls, the bad is that the other three… are not there anymore.
Were they supposed to leave? Could had it been possible for them to not to leave?
We’ll probably never know.
It’s still, afterall, a job, that they can quit, and have all the rights to quit.
I can’t help but feel sad when I think that they were 8 and 7 girls once. But it’s happened, some of them have left, and I’ll see reminders of that from now on, since most likely both Erika and Kanna will be active in their blogs.
“At least I can still see them”, I guess. That’s good, because when Kanna left I was greatly worried about her health. And the updates we’ll see from them are not an intrusion to their private life.
This is confusing as well, because for once I have to see them from the point of view of a non-fan, and not just for a moment, in fact, I have to put myself in the position of a non-fan for enough time to think about this. It feels strange.
Am I still a fan after that…
I wonder. To me, a fan is someone who supports the group/artist through good and bad times.
And bad times will have to come, it’s normal. Ups and downs.
I still wouldn’t change this time. Because I still feel (fan) love towards them.
Lately, their songs have been good to me as well (I enjoy them, Everyday Zekkouchou and Campus Life are real good energizers during long hours of translating, and Shocking 5 as a whole is very relaxing), it’s just the change of members what confuses me.
All of C-ute fans that have been with them since 2006 or at least 2007 know that there’s been a change of members. The ones that are still fans are really some of the most inspiring fans I’ve seen (not counting me). The ones that don’t care, well, I don’t pay attention to them.
It will still be some time till C-ute disbands. Because of the members leaving, I’ve thought about that a lot, but afterall… there’s still time. I should enjoy that time as a fan more, because it won’t last forever.
It’s difficult sometimes. But it’s alright. There’ll never many devoted fans, never, even if I really wish that would happen. Fan love is a rare thing, and I say that because of all the years I’ve been a C-ute fan.
Accepting the hurting sides of reality is strange, even if it’s fandom reality. Will I able to still love that? Hopefully. The lyrics of Everyday Zekkouchou come to mind.
