Like someone at H!O, I’ll reflect on my H!P fandom.
One of the biggest prejudices against H!P fans and wota is that they have poor musical taste, or that all we listen to is “bubblegum pop and high-pitched voices”. But if you see the number and variety of CDs that my parents bought when I was little, you’d be surprised. Before, there used to be a big number of casettes too.
I prefer my musical taste to be extense. I can say with complete confidence that there are many H!P songs that can stand out on its own, for different reasons. Some of them as something that cheers you up, some of them as musical compositions. There are limits of course, afterall most of the music is composed by the same guy. But most fans of H!P happen to like that sound.
In some of the songs, some voices stand out. Perhaps it’s that both the song and the voice are suited for each other.
Aichan’s voice is one of those that stands out a lot. Since she’s been in H!P for a long time and she’s been a vocal lead for quite a few years, it’s difficult for fans to not to notice her, wether they like it or not. I like her voice.
Last November 13 was the 5th anniversary of my H!P fandom. And on October, it was my 20th birthday. Even though I knew of Morning Musume since 2001 and heard about them again in 2003, I didn’t start to actually become interested in them a few days before Yaguchi left the group. In July of that year, during winter vacations, I took a wild interest in the group and started to listen to lots of their songs and watch their videos. But it wasn’t until November that I… strongly felt something when I listened to Koko ni Iruzee. I still remember that sensation/emotion very clearly. Maybe the best way to describe it is inspiration or… being cheered up. I had felt that before, and I still feel it sometimes, with other kinds of music too, but that one time is memorable for me as it was the first time it happened with an H!P song. So I kind of decided to make H!P important for me after I felt that “connection” with that song. A few months passed by… I think it was around May 2006 when I started to become more involved in H!P fandom, ie. actually checking out news in real time, commenting, being friends with other fans. All of that has happened.
In the past year, I’ve reflected a lot on what means to be a fan and also an H!P fan. I’ve made lots of conclusions… and one of the most important ones for me is that being a fan is just a kind of love. This “fan love” isn’t difficult for fans to feel. And it’s a kind of love that has clear limits. Everyone decides their limits as fans. At least for me, since I’ve admitted that I have a fan side in me, it’s much easier to compare it to the other parts of my personality. I’ve always been suspicious, so I critic my fandom most of the time. I hope the outcome of my fandom is good, and if I ever stop being a fan, I want to look back and not regret anything big.
Aichan has been in H!P for twice the time that I’ve been a fan. I’m fairly sure that she’s dealt with a lot, as have the people she’s worked with (nothing too extreme though, at least not economically-wise… on most cases anyways). She’s been through the last couple of years of the UFA-Dentsu relationship, she’s attended most of the H!P appearances in Kouhaku (the number is still a record for female idol groups, and half of those appearances happened when the UFA-Dentsu relationship didn’t exist or was already over), she’s seen herself being promoted from newbie to frontgirl, she’s seen her senpai and kouhai graduate, she was a lead role in Cinderella, related to her very much liked Takarazuka… and lots more.
In Koko ni iruzee, her solo line near the end was one of the lines that cheered me up the most, back in 2005. Her voice sounded SO strong and bright there. In Aruiteru as well… in 2006, I still remember how that one solo line after the bridge and before the lalala’s, completely amazed me. I could give lots of examples… since she’s sung a lot during the time I’ve been a fan. I’ll always remember this time.
Even though my interest in Morning Musume now isn’t the same of a new fan, and even if I’ve read and seen enough to not to entirely agree with the way this agency or even some sides of industry works (and really, it’s not about promotion or spotlight or TV shows or any of those things. They’ll never be huge again unless something happens behinds the scenes), H!P as a whole will always have a place in my heart and mind. That is, it’s cheesy, and my fandom is already that strong, it’s been that way for a while. But I don’t want this to become all gloomy and dramatic and a nostalgia fest… (a big part of the fandom already is. And it can be summed up in one word: graduations. At least they don’t happen every month). I really don’t want to become a fan that only likes the way when THEY FIRST started to like the fandom. ie. a fan of the “good old times”. If all of this fandom stops for me, I don’t want it to be for that reason. If I move on, I won’t move on that way.
For now, I’m still here. Fandom isn’t the biggest highlight of my life, other aspects of me continue to grow up, my fan side continues to understand more and more things and I realize that while all of this fandom is entertainement or pleasure, it’s still somewhat of a challenge. It’s and will always be a beloved part of my life, but I already know I’ll probably never be completely content or satisfied regarding my fandom. I wouldn’t like to think that it’s just because I’m too addicted that I can’t leave, so I’ve toned down my level of “addiction” ever since I started to realize all that is written in this post. So far it has worked.
I like that this is kind of a challenge.
